197594

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a clock tower somebody lives in? A timely manor."

"Here's a promise - if a scuba shop is within sprinting distance of the ocean and they let me try stuff on I'm not paying for a damn thing."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. To be read: *seven ate nine*"

"All these years and the ""insert thumb and lift"" tab on macaroni and cheese boxes is still lying to us."

"I can't see an end, I have no control and I don't think there's any escape, I don't even have a home anymore...Definitely time for a new keyboard."

"What did the sign say at a strip club Business doing pleasure for you"

"What snooker and women have in common? When pink is blocked by red, you hit the brown."

"ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE? ""Haha a man obviously"" *Detective places cheese on table* *suspect starts to sweat*"

"[nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?"

"Mayweather gets in a street fight... Wins by decision"