11116

Joke of the Day

"I gave my Chinese mate some sweets yesterday... He said, oh these are Haribo! Well if you don't like them, don't eat them then."

"Doctor: you gotta cut back on the drinking Me: but why? D:*lifts up x-ray* says here your liver has officially been sponsored by Grey Goose"

"A new study has shown banana skins contain traces of LSD... I guess that explains why people are always tripping on them"

"She : It's not working between us. He : Why ? She : For starters I can't handle your silly jokes. He : Hmm okay and for main course ?"

"What are 8 Hobbits? One hobbyte."

"A Wife calls her son to see where him and his dad are He answers with moans in the backround, ""In my room?"" He says, the mom storms up there expecting porn, or sex. She got one of them right..."

"When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come. Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left."

"Sally Why did Sally fall off her swing? She got hit by an axe. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally."

"Saw a man waiting for the bus who just stood there staring into the distance. It was as if he just didn't own a phone or something. Weird."

"We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move."