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Joke of the Day

"My stages of awkward: Sober me: I don't know what to do with my hands Drunk me: I don't know what to do with my face High me: What face?"

"Lil Johnny: ""Dad I lost my virginity las night!"" Dad: ""I am proud of you son, come sit next to me and tell me how it went."" Lil Johnny: ""I can't sit right now, my butt still hurts"""

"You guys got any good old jokes (example inside) Example: Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play."

"Jack All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no pay makes Jack a Mexican."

"I'm sure my girlfriend's frigid Every time she opens her legs a light comes on."

"""Can I get a do-over?"" - Me, playing golf, tennis (or pretty much any sport), taking a test, having sex, making a speech, living my life...."

"I don't even have a theory where Malaysia is."

"Jack and Jill went up a hill; &nbsp; to have a bit of fun. &nbsp; But stupid Jill forgot the pill; &nbsp; and now they have a son."

"Lawn Sprinkler What do you call four Mexicans, one Chinaman, and three Blacks standing in a yard? Lawn sprinkler. ""Spick spick spick spick, chink, nigga nigga nigga."""

"Getting a red heart instead of a yellow star makes me feel like things are moving a little too fast between us."