197582

Joke of the Day

"If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony."

"What did the Triceratops sit on? Its Tricerabottom."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches and a peeping Tom watches snatches"

"Selfish Girls When I was a kid. Many girls want to kiss me I Allowed. But Now... I want To Kiss Many Girls but They Don't Allow me."

"How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one? The domesticated doesnt have balls"

"This Is A Dirty Joke A white horse fell in the mud"

"What's the opposite of the word uncle-off-her? It's an aunt-*on*-him."

"*gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER."

"What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job."

"What happened to the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl? They had a MetLife crisis. (that's the name of the stadium)"