197572

Joke of the Day

"If you turn pineapple upside down cake right side up, it's just cake."

"Have you heard about the new Corduroy pillow cases? They have made all the headlines."

"Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank."

"We now return to 'CANADIAN SNIPER' *canadian sniper shoots an enemy* *canadian sniper yells 'sorry' from far away*"

"Why did the tree look pissed off all the time? It had Resting Birch Face."

"should probably not think about sad things at work i mean who wants to buy a dildo from someone who was clearly just crying in the shoe room"

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac? A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog."

"Occasionally I like to stroll into a bank, pull a gun, shout ""Everybody be cool!"" and then hand out sunglasses and leather jackets."

"The only time my wife will ever scream ""DEEPER, DEEPER"" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground"

"Me: bedtime! Brain: you're hungry M: no I'm not B: thirsty then M: nope B: uhh sad? M: doing ok B: you forgot to do that thing M: nice try"