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Joke of the Day

"I'm the guy in the meeting giving coworkers the throat slash motion when the boss says ""Anybody have anything else 2 add before we adjourn?"""

"my wife laughed at me when i told her i was going to make a car out of spaghetti She wasn't laughing when i drove pasta."

"How school works: 2+2=4. Homework: 2+4+2=8. Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Suns mass."

"What's the difference between Sin and Shame? It's a sin to put it in, and a shame to pull it out."

"Someone stole my pencil sharpener and now I can't stab people anymore."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline"

"What did King Midas say to the centaur? Stay gold, Ponyboy."

"Someone told me Canada had no territories... I was having Nunavut."

"My snack didn't taste very good. Now I'm gonna hafta cleanse the palate w a large buffalo chicken pizza for lunch I know. Life's tough."

"I have walrus-like reflexes! Basically I roll around my apartment and slap my belly when I want food"