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Joke of the Day

"my wife laughed at me when i told her i was going to make a car out of spaghetti She wasn't laughing when i drove pasta."

"A fun prank if your roommate is a cartoon character is to draw clothes on the mirror so he leaves the house not realizing he's naked."

"If a group of necrophiliacs ran into group of zombies...who would do the chasing? Oh, I went there...;)"

"[NSFW] I got an awesome handjob from my barber after my haircut Just one of the many benefits to cutting your own hair"

"Nothing has ever bothered me as much as my recent realization that I have never seen bird testicles."

"One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday eight hours."

"What's the difference between a fat girl and model? The black guy doesn't give a shit"

"What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d"

"I'm not into phone sex, the cord always gets stuck in my ass."

"Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says ""I've lost my electron."" The other says ""Are you sure?"" The first replies ""Yes, I'm positive."""