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Joke of the Day

"My Roommate wanted me to play the popular game Fuck, Marry, Kill... But now I am confused. What should I do with my husband's dead body?"

"What's the most important part of a vegetable's golf stats? The handicap."

"The number one piece of advice I could give to fish is to stay hydrated."

"Just reported a car as being stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the rear window are white."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?!?"

"If it was Raining Men I doubt anyone'd say Hallelujah. Pretty sure people'd be screaming things like, ""Augh! That guy just killed my mom!"""

"I proposed to my Mexican girlfriend but she said... I wasn't the Juan."

"What are the fattest letters? O.B.C.D"

"If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test?"

"Man: ""Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please"" Waitress: *slaps his face* ""The men I please are none of your damn business!"""