197526

Joke of the Day

"Dentist: Ok, I'm going to start drilling. ""Wait! What if I have to poop?"" D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* ""Thanks I feel better."""

"I've deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone... Now it's Hans free..."

"I told a girl a joke. She said, ""Don't quit your day job."" I said, ""Thanks, I'm a comedian."""

"If I could have any superpower It would be Cold War Russia"

"A threesome with an older couple Girl: Babe come over Guy: Can't having a threesome with an older couple Girl: My parents are not home Guy: I know"

"What is yellow and incapable of swimming? An excavator."

"I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though."

"I went to the shop and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room."""

"School Joke Principal: ""I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"" Johnny: ""Nothing, sir."" Principal: ""Exactly!"""

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped. ;)"