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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped. ;)"

"My daughter gets all bossy when we're playing with her Barbies, but I just smile. Then when she's at school I play with them the way I want."

"What did the Chemist have with his Eggs? Barium, Cobalt and Nitrogen."

"I just did my budget for August. If I don't buy food ... I won't need toilet paper. I think I'm on to something here."

"My GFs family are religious which sux 1st time I stayed there her dad wouldnt let us sleep together Was a shame cuz he was very attractive"

"When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, ""Sounds like somebody needed a friend"""

"Listen, I'll play that funky music if you ask me in a nice, non-derogatory way."

"Why did the woman fire her masseuse? He just rubbed her the wrong way"

"My dad said he couldn't get into Game of Thrones because he doesn't like fantasy so I asked him when he was going to stop watching Fox News."

"When I get home the first thing I'm going to do is rip my wife's panties off. Because they're too small and the elastic is killing me."