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Joke of the Day

"I went to the shop and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room."""

"What do you call a person who is missing his left eye, left ear, left arm and left leg? Alright."

"A married couple were fighting... ...when they drove past a farm full of pigs. The husband then asked his wife, ""Family of yours?"" The wife looked at the pigs, then replied, ""Yea, in-laws."""

"I've heard the best place to network for a job is at a fat camp You meet *tons* of people"

"Her: What's a girl gotta do to get a drink? Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*"

"What is the difference between my grandma and a newborn baby? When I fuck my grandma up the ass she doesn't die."

"Lawyer Joke Thread Submit your favorite lawyer jokes!"

"If Catholics are in a demonstration... ... Are they Protestants?"

"What do you call a depressed bear? Bipolar"

"After A Game ""We kicked their asses!"" ""Yeah, we rectum."""