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Joke of the Day

"But officer, I put the phone down as soon as I saw that you saw me using it..."

"Saw an attractive Muslim girl the other day.... ""Was she sunni?"" ""Nah, shi-ite"""

"In mother Russia..... .... Joke is you."

"I'm adopted and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me. But why everyday?"

"I used to steal funny jokes I still do, but I used to, too."

"Man it would suck if I died on this plane mostly because of some unused gift cards I was waiting for ""the right time"" to use."

"I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. I'm not sure which race yet."

"Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle? Mohammed"

"I invited a friend to go hunt some gods with me... But he just can't deicide."

"What did the dog say to the old tree? #Bark"