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Joke of the Day

"A sweet treat. I find my sex life is a lot like Nutella. Everyone loves it and has it all the time, and I'm just sitting in bed alone with a box of Ritz crackers."

"What sound does a racist machine gun make? kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"

"What is better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ!"

"Barber: And how old are you little man? Fred: Eight. Barber: And do you want a haircut? Fred: Well I certainly didn't come in for a shave!"

"What are the only english words that russian prostitutes can say? Putin"

"Why do ecologists like lepers? Because they're biodegradable!"

"I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground."

"Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable."

"[gf comes home after spray tanning] Hey, orange you looking good! ""Thanks"" Anytime, pumpkin! ""You're sweet"" You're one in vermillion!"

"If Trump wins the election I am __________________ Fill in the blank"