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Joke of the Day

"I tried to use my Dictaphone today. But I ended up just using my finger like everyone else."

"Why did Jesus lose his Halo? Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn."

"What do a guitar and a drum have in common? Neither of them are a clarinet!"

"Google is the #1 company in the world. How about them apples ?"

"Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight? Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies."

"A man walks into a bar in Westeros And the bartender says ""stop speaking in third person Jaqen for fuck's sake"""

"Donald Trump could very well be our next President. Laugh, because it's a joke, guys. Guys? Guys! ...It's not funny anymore..."

"How much alcohol does it take to get a black person drunk? About three fifths."

"Why do SJWs hate dentists? Because they want to make teeth straight and white."

"If you love Christmas so much... *Why don't you merry it?*"