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Joke of the Day

"The only reason millienials want to see Trump become president.. Because we've never seen a president assassinated before."

"I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there"

"Wait till the hamburglar finds out about money"

"what's for dinner? ME: indian we had indian last night ME: i know, but i forgot to do the 'i see a little sillhouetto of a naan' joke so"

"What type of clothing does a House wear? Address."

"I'm simultaneously drinking Starbucks and a Monster, in case I need to do something extreme and be a snob about it, within the next 30 min."

"Did you hear about that mad cow disease? A cow to another: ""Did you hear about that mad cow disease? Makes cows go completely insane!"" The other cow: ""Good thing I'm a helicopter!"""

"What's long and hard on a black guy? The first grade"

"So you wanna learn to speak with an Irish accent do you? Whale oil beef hooked."

"I like a good long fiction piece... So I picked up the Bible at my local book store."