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Joke of the Day

"So you wanna learn to speak with an Irish accent do you? Whale oil beef hooked."

"Why didn't the Jews fight in WWII? They all went camping."

"Today was a great day 10/10"

"CW: Can I ask you something? Me: Don't talk to me until I've had coffee. CW: But you don't drink coffee. Me: *smiles and continues to work"

"My New Year's Resolution is to lose 10 pounds Only 13 more to go"

"If a woman is bad at parking it's because she is constantly lied to about what 8 inches is."

"Yeah baby, I'm the lead singer in a band. Well, more of a backing singer. More of a Drummer. Triangle player..Roadie. I Saw a band once."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y"

"pope: love all *everyone cheers* *he serves a tennis ball right into the crowd* pope: fifteen-love"

"1. Take dozens of pictures of yourself sleeping. 2. Put them in coworker's drawer. 3. ""WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!"""