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Joke of the Day

"So today I finally got my license... to krill!"

"[at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying"

"TIL the French flag is traditionally made with Velcro So they could remove the red and blue bits in times of war"

"What do you call it when a black chick shows you her pussy? Nutella Spread"

"Guy walks into library and asks the librarian... ""do you have the book for men with a small penis?"" She replies ""I don't know if it's in yet"" ""yeah, that's the one """

"John: Hey Jude... Paul: Don't make it bad George: Take a sad song... Ringo: So weird how coffee is yummy hot or cold but gross in-between"

"Today's word is Legs. Spread the word."

"Saw an attractive Muslim girl the other day.... ""Was she sunni?"" ""Nah, shi-ite"""

"Listen, I'll let you borrow any Disney movie I've got except for one. I'm never gonna give you Zootopia. I'm a fucking furry. *Gotcha!*"

"What did the gay frog say to his bf? Rimit rimit.."