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Joke of the Day

"my ex-girlfriend named my penis Trump, Because it talked a big game to get inside, left her disappointed, and she wanted to get rid of it in 4 years or less..."

"I got arrested one night while camping... The policeman said I was loitering within tent."

"Boss told me to glue 2 pieces of wood together Totally nailed it"

"Why are people pissed off that Justin Bieber smoked some weed? It's not like he released another album or anything."

"Gets pulled over: "" it's because I can't see isn't it?!"""

"I've run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon."

"So the other day I was pressing my clothes But it turned out I had just made even more creases. I was so upset. I guess I couldn't handle the irony."

"Saw a man at Target with a foot-long ponytail. Didn't know what to do so I pulled the fire alarm."

"Study reveals 20% of men kiss wife goodbye when they leave the house. 80% of men kiss house goodbye when they leave their wife. Conclusion. Want to keep your house, start kissing your wife."

"What do you call someone who just occasionally dabbles in a bit of Islamic fundamentalism? A Wahhobbyist."