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Joke of the Day
"Why the word redundancy when lawyers say cease and desist? Billable vowels."
Next Joke
"If God had meant for today to be perfect, he wouldn't have invented tomorrow."
"Helen: Mum do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No dear what ? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But I've got a nice teapot. Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it."
"Me when my friends are sad: 268 text messages of advice and tell them how perfect they are. Then when I'm sad: Oh, sorry ."
"What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla? A retarded gorilla."
"What was the scary guy on Tinder doing? Intimidating others."
"Girls must gain like a 4 point bump after you've had a few drinks. Cause I'm in a bar in Greece, and these dames around me look like a 5 right now."
"What do you call a Spanish matador who is not very good at his job? I'd say he's fairly incapa**bull**."
"What does Mr. Miyagi do when he gets home from a date? He wax off"
"What's trumps favorite movie? Wall-e"