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Joke of the Day

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 8 and 9 died a horrible and tragic death, and 7 is the prime suspect."

"A friend bet me I couldn't piss in a Dyson Airblade Boy, did that blow up in my face."

"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."

"My friend wants to carve a Venus statue from a tree. That seems like it would take a while, woodentit?"

"airplane food whats up with that?"

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

"Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together"

"What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck? [deleted]"

"Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!"

"What is the opposite of prostitute? Constitute, of course"