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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I was trying to get home before I ran out of gas."

"[commercial] WOMAN: have u ever wondered what would happen if a car alarm could swim? NARRATOR: geese"

"Interview with Hitler When asked whether or not he would repeat the Holocaust again. Hitler replied.... Fuhrer sure!!!!"

"What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed? Yes but we cantaloupe."

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"what would you call superman if he was deaf and mexican? No hero"

"Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones. He knocked out 909 people with one punch."

"There are so many scams on the Internet now... Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them."

"[landlord walks in apartment] ""I told you no pets!"" That's a stray gerbil. ""And those fish??"" ...stray fish. SHOO FISH, SCRAM"

"your mom is so stupid.... when I said it was chilly out she ran out the door with a spoon"