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Joke of the Day
"Pessimist had not sex for a long time Optimist had sex but long ago"
Next Joke
"Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, my Facebook feed changed everybody from political analysts to weather people."
"What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim denim denim (Say it to the tune of the Mario pipe noise)"
"Q.: ""Governor, what would you say if Trump picked you as his running mate?"" Christie: ""I'll close down that bridge when I get to it."""
"A midget walks into a bar... The bar was set too low."
"The George Dubya Bush Presidential Library burned down... All three books were destroyed. Two of em hadn't even been coloured in yet."
"All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?"
"Used to be that multiple communication devices meant you're a drug dealer, now I'm not sure which of these toddlers to buy from at the park."
"""Alexa, yell at my kids to behave every 7 minutes. I'm headed to the bar."""
"All of my friends are jealous when they find out I hooked up with my math teacher in high school But honestly, being homeschooled sucked."