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Joke of the Day
"What's Mary short for? She's got little legs, I guess."
Next Joke
"What's the best part about dating a Patriots fan? They don't care if you cheat."
"I'm totally fine with everyone leaving the country if Trump wins or if Hillary wins. I need more space"
"I've got a drug test tomorrow at work Good thing I know loads about drugs =)"
"Tomorrow is Fathers Day. I heard iPad accessories are the big thing for Father's Day this year. I got my dad a leather case, a screen protector and a new charger. If he ever gets an iPad he's all set."
"My husband wants a fourth child. I hope his new wife will be good to my three."
"okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?"
"Why can't you fight an accountant ? They'll always out number you!"
"Did you hear about the brown paper bag cowboy? He had a brown paper bag hat, brown paper bag boots, a brown paper bag shirt, and a pair of brown paper bag pants. He was arrested. For rustling."
"How did Vladimir Lenin originally get into power? ""This isn't just a campaign, this is a political *revolution!*"""