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Joke of the Day

"What gets easier to pick up, the more it weighs? Women"

"How can you tell someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you"

"I visited the ghetto once... Didn't see much, i was in the luggage of a car blindfolded."

"Selected a charity for my major donations this year. It's called Blink.org. They provide turn signals to the masses who can't afford them."

"2 muffins sitting in the oven. First one says ""Damn it's hot in here"". Second one says ""Oh shit! A talking muffin""."

"Why does a pencil shave? To look sharp"

"Buddy: her boyfriend was killed? Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I'm like, who even kills horses like that?"

"What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale? ""It was an absolute steal!"""

"What did Honey Boo Boo's father say after he didn't pull out? Uh oh... I think I made a boo boo."

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count, and those who can't."