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Joke of the Day

"If you own a big home and someone tells you to go big or go home, you get trapped in a paradox forever and can't even die. I'm serious."

"I could be subtweeting my cat for all you know. Calm down."

"What do you call clothes for a car? A tire."

"What do a condom and a fighter jet have in common? A cockpit."

"How was copper wire invented? two Jews were fighting over a penny"

"What do you say when your mom walks in on you fapping? C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!"

"I eat the pussy like mac n cheese I'm lactose intolerant"

"There was a young couple having sex in the pool. I walked up to the lifeguard and said, ""Aren't you going to do anything?"" He said, ""I might have a wank if you leave me alone."""

"A man walks into a ........ Pulls out a ......... And ........... Piss off Fill in the blanks."

"What did the rock say when he had to leave his girlfriend for a long time? I pumice I'll come back soon!"