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Joke of the Day

"I walked into my local fishmongers when i saw the manager of the store slapping his penis with a fish. I **cod** not believe it!"

"Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people? He needed places to hide the bodies."

"What did the mexican say to the Highlander? There can only be Juan."

"My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me."

"Do you know what a pirate's favorite letter is? You'd think it would be ""Arrrr"" but it's actually the C."

"What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box? Body centered cubic"

"A man walks into a bar... ""Ouch!"""

"What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck ? A duck filled fatty puss !"

"Sometimes I miss my real friends and then I think, screw them, they don't even star my tweets."

"Was talking to a friend about taking many baths a day. ""There's no harm in taking baths repeatedly unless you are soap."""