19620

Joke of the Day

"Me, to all my kids before the age of 2. ""No screens allowed."" On their 2nd birthday, handing over iPad. ""This is your mother now."""

"""My desires are... unconventional."" ""Show me."" *opens door to a room full of memes*"

"What does a vulture bring onto a plane? Carrion luggage"

"What is a grave digger's favorite element on the periodic table? Barium"

"What's the best part of a woman? between 18 and 24 yrs"

"They say that American beer is like having sex on a canoe. It's fucking close to water."

"My friend's son really has trouble reading and writing. I told him he's probably quite unliterate."

"My friend told me the other day that every time he buys his girlfriend shoes he gets a blow job. Turns out he's head over heels."

"What did the boy say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while playing tag? Na-na boo-boo"

"I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying."