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Joke of the Day

"I was quite surprised when I was arrested for exposing a pedophile ring. All I did was moon a school bus."

"I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag."

"So this Kristen Stewart cheating stuff... Still a better love story than Twilight."

"Arnold Swarzeneggar pushup contest. Arnold Swarzeneggar challenged former President George W. Bush to a pushup contest, and the President accepted. Swarzeneggar did 910, But Bush did 911."

"You ever notice how an electric pencil sharpener and a cat's butt look the same? They even make the same noise when you stick a pencil in it: Rar, Rar, Rar, Rar...."

"FACEBOOK A place where couples wish they were single and the singles wish they were couples."

"Free shipping? I walked into an airport with two bags: ""I want this one to go to Chicago, and this one to go to Paris."" ""Sir, you can't do that."" ""Why not? It happened the last time."""

"No man can hold me down. That's what women are for."

"How does a train eat? It goes chew-chew."

"What fruit can't get married? CANTELOPE"