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Joke of the Day

"You ever notice how an electric pencil sharpener and a cat's butt look the same? They even make the same noise when you stick a pencil in it: Rar, Rar, Rar, Rar...."

"At what time of day was Adam born? Just before Eve."

"Your mummy joke Your mummers so fat when she put on a beqeny everyone screams Godzilla"

"Imo everyone should consider organ donation Ahhh actually I've had a change of heart"

"Plagiarism is bad? Change a few words, that shit is yours. It's like when you change a baby's clothes- new baby. New baby that's yours now."

"I wish my band were shittier so we could get booked on Leno :("

"I was talking with a friend about my car... I told him about how, now that I have a kid, the car isn't very practical. He offered me 3,000 dollars for it. Sucker, he's gonna hate being a dad."

"I couldn't think of a good joke Then I looked in the mirror"

"How an Illuminati living in the arctic is called? An Igloominati"

"What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an Art History degree? The pizza can feed a family of four."