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Joke of the Day
"Crabs always look like they're walking themselves out of an awkward situation ...."
Next Joke
"My dad says he hates surprises... So I wrapped all his Christmas presents in cellophane."
"Specimen: An Italian astronaut"
"So 22 counties in Alabama are refusing to issue gay marriage licenses on the grounds that they believe in the traditional marriage of a man and his sister."
"Question: What do you say if you want someone to hold the lift? Ans: Hodor"
"Second date tip: repeat everything you said on the first date, word for word."
"You know what the doctor told the midget? You'll have to be a little patient."
"""It's a banana in my pocket"" ""May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?"" *averts eyes* ""I'm glad to see you"""
"Sometimes when people text me ""K"", I like to text them ""L- omg you next!!"""
"House is a good doctor. He's also got a good heart. He should let his friends see the real him. But he's scared."