196021

Joke of the Day

"Being a baker is a great side-job... ...especially when I knead the dough."

"Me: Can I bet $20 on the Panthers to win the Super Bowl? Government: Sorry, no Me: Ok, can I buy 1k in powerball tickets? G: Lol, of course"

"I left my girlfriend because her orgasms were too brief. I just could not accept her shortcomings."

"Me: You've got the same stupid duck face in every picture! Daffy: Erm... :|"

"I have a crush on a girl with a lazy eye But she won't even look at me.."

"Friday night is my weekly time to ponder...which do I hate more: my friends, or having to make new friends?"

"What does a man with one leg wear to the beach? Flop."

"Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot."

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall But his winter wasn't so hot..."

"Tsipras and Varoufakis now have a mandate. They will probably go for some retsina and gyros and perhaps catch a movie afterwards."