19602

Joke of the Day

"I told my girlfriend she'd look better with her hair back Apparently that's not an appropriate thing to say to a chemo patient"

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? Ya think it's the R, but it be the C!"

"Give it to me straight ""I'd really like to have sex with you-"" Now give it to me gay ""-r boyfriend."""

"A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor walked into a bar. And the bartender said, ""What is this, some kinda joke?"""

"My house got broken into the other night... The thief didn't take anything, he just left a note. All it said was 'get better stuff.'"

"Henry Tudor: ""I'm going to build a car park in the centre of Leicester."" Richard III: ""Over my dead body."""

"Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports"

"I bet chickens have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving, because they're safe for a day, but why aren't they good enough for a holiday meal?"

"What did Brad Pitt in Seven and Harvey Weinstein in real life both get? Gwyneth Paltrow's head."

"I love the smell of a camp fire. It reminds me of the night we kille.... .....I just love smell of campfires."