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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? Ya think it's the R, but it be the C!"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It really won't matter. He isn't coming anyway."

"North Korea banned the use of sarcasm towards the government; I wouldn't last an hour before they executed me."

"Say what you will about Hamas... ...but their education system is top notch. Over 90% of the children in Gaza become ""Rocket Scientists""."

"Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ? Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally."

"Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up? Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it."

"What's an asexual person's favorite thing to do in the bedroom? Fuckin' nothin'."

"What do you call a fruit that won't get married? A Cantaloupe."

"""Dumb as a bag of hammers"" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once."

"Bruce Willis overdosed on Viagra before comitting suicide He died hard"