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Joke of the Day

"*lowers head *breaks thru 5 tackles *hurdles lineman *runs 100 yards *hamstrung at goal line *dragged back to line of scrimmage -my wedding"

"Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the day... Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"So I got rid of my gym membership... just didn't work out "

"Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker? Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves Free"

"On a scale of corn to manycorn how impressed are you by my new corn-based number system"

"TIL In Australia 'boo' means to return Because when you throw a normal merengue it doesn't come back"

"Her: ""My baby paints with her food because she's artistic."" Me: ""That or your baby paints with her food because she's a goddamn baby."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Astor ! Astor who ? Astor the ball is over !"

"Goodnight Moon, you albino m&m looking space-pebble garbage piece of shit"