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Joke of the Day

"Me: I only wanted a little mayo! I can't eat this! Him: Does it matter that much? Me: Well, would you like me to stab you a little or a lot?"

"What was the ninja pigs' surprise attack called? Hambush"

"You wanna hear a joke? Women's rights"

"I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"Shouting ""put your hands in the air like you just don't care!"" is a fun way to bring a party atmosphere to a bank robbery."

"Did you hear about the agnostic scientist who had twins? She had one of them baptised, the other one is the control."

"My wife and I are painting our house. I never knew there were so many greys. I hear there's a book about it. There's at least 50."

"Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble."

"Being the tallest person at work, leads me to believe they hired me because they were short staffed."

"what do you call somebody who posts on /r/Jokes? a humorist"