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Joke of the Day

"Just went to the dentist. He's a pretty average, normal guy so I assume he'd be one of the four out of five."

"I told my parents I wanted a panda for christmas. all I got was a white x6"

"I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was.. Apparently Bruce Jenner was ""inappropriate."""

"After my fourth failed relationship, my friend tells me 'keep your head up, these girls come and go, but you'll find someone for you', but deep down i know... Girls don't just come and go... I do."

"My parents found an S&M magazine under my brother's bed... My dad said, ""Well, spanking him is out of the question."""

"Chicken pot pie my three favorite things in life..."

"I just woke up pissed off for no reason..... now I know how a woman feels."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you saw me eating that cupcake with no hands and you want my autograph?"

"Let me tell you a joke about my dick... Nevermind, it's too long."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint!"