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Joke of the Day
"I just woke up pissed off for no reason..... now I know how a woman feels."
Next Joke
"lets play cops & robbers! ok! i'll be robber! i'll be cop! *robber hides* *cop just starts wrestling all the black kids in the neigborhood*"
"[On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT"
"Did you hear about the singing laptop? It's a Dell."
"Gravity is just the earth being really clingy"
"Why does Dr Pepper come in a can? Because his wife left him."
"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine"
"My wife always compliments me after an argument. ""I couldn't have married a bigger d!ck"""
"small joke truth or dare dare order us pizza"
"I do an average of 6 things a day that will keep me out of heaven."