195901

Joke of the Day

"I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like ""OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"""

"I would pay 5$ to see my girlfriend naked on the street I don't have a girlfriend, 5$ would be a good bargain"

"Where do poor meatballs live? In the spaghetto. Kudos to my friend who came up with this."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car? The difference is in a police car all the pricks are on the inside"

"Why was the radioactive food going to taste bad? The meal would fallout of flavor."

"What does Bob Marley put on his toast? Peanut butter and jammin!"

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea to bring an Ebola patient to Atlanta, I'm saying everyone should leave Atlanta because I've seen this movie...."

"""I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."""

"Just heard my neighbor say ""Wow"" from inside her house about the fart I just did inside mine."

"What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail? I don't know but it would slow him down."