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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a reptile...? What do you call a reptile who says ""But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time""? [The Wonderful Lizard of Pause](/spoiler)"

"I'm sick of hearing about this World Class chef at Taco Bell. Chefs don't work at Taco Bell. Your weed dealer works at Taco Bell."

"Jogging but instead lying in bed with your eyes shut."

"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status..."

"Interviewer: [looking through file] Are you still disruptive at nap time? Me: Wow, they weren't kidding about that permanent record thing."

"Have you heard of the new Divorced Barbie Doll? It comes with all of Ken's stuff!"

"the best part about arguing with family make up sex"

"Sting has launched his own range of aromatherapy oils. They're a massage in a bottle"

"Why don't pedophiles win marathons? They're always coming in a little behind.."

"Did you hear the inventor of cough lollies died last week? There'll be no coughin' at his funeral"