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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: [looking through file] Are you still disruptive at nap time? Me: Wow, they weren't kidding about that permanent record thing."

"Did you all see the shots fired at the Democratic debate just now!!???? Hillary really took aim at Bernie over gun control."

"Helen Keller joke thread anyone? Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? You would too if your name was WHHAARRFFUUURRRRGGGGRRRSSSHHHAAAAALLLLLLOOOPPPPMMMNNN!!!!!"

"My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette. Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore."

"This Post just says it all! It all."

"Why did God invent women? You think he's gonna wash the dishes?"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"i got you a candy necklace for a present but then something happened so i got you this string instead"

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later."

"Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."