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Joke of the Day
"I do this fun trick at parties where no one there likes me so I don't go."
Next Joke
"Yelling out ""Stranger Danger!"" is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code."
"*cop bursts into bathroom* ""KID DON'T FLUSH THOSE DRUGS!"" *toilet is wearing shades* ""damn. we're too late"" *toilet rides off on motorcycle*"
"When I turn on the lights all of the dads scatter off of my deck, the fat dads can't get over the fence"
"My vaccume cleaner sucks because it doesn't suck... Unlike my other vaccume cleaner, which doesn't suck because it sucks. (co-writing credit to smarties pants u/lord_of_the_realm)"
"A short penis joke I'm Asian"
"The other hole. My buddy asked me the other day if whenever my wife and I were getting freaky if I ever tried having sex with her other ""hole"". I replied ""Hell No!"",.......... She might get pregnant."
"Once, just once, I'd like to be able to use the word skedaddling in an everyday conversation."
"It only takes 3 inches to please a woman. And it doesn't matter if it's mastercard, visa or American express."
"Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that's why we're getting a divorce and marrying you instead."