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Joke of the Day

"The Last Man on Earth I wouldn't mind being the last man on Earth. At least I'd find out if all those girls were telling the truth."

"Here's a quick joke for all you telepathic people out there."

"If I were a ghost, I'd spell ""antidisestablishmentarianism"" on the Ouija board just to waste those idiots' time."

"Girl, me without you is like the History Channel without World War Two."

"Dogs can't operate an MRI. But cats can."

"What was the jew doing in the ashtray? Family research."

"What do you call tree sap that won't stop running? Forest gunk."

"Dry January is going really well. Even if everyone keeps saying that I need to shower."

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"I hear Donald Trump is going to ban cans of parmesan cheese... ..he's going to make America grate again."