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Joke of the Day

"The Last Man on Earth I wouldn't mind being the last man on Earth. At least I'd find out if all those girls were telling the truth."

"Why all Tickle me Elmo dolls are male. They all get two test tickles before they leave the factory."

"If hearing ""I love you"" was enough, we'd all buy parrots and live happily ever after."

"What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree? Poll tree!"

"First date: *puts entire onion ring in mouth* If yo'lik et ven yo'shoulla puh a wring owh it."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

"My dad went to jail this morning... Because he's the jail doctor."

"Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"Lol at birds that walk places."

"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers"