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Joke of the Day
"I ran over a kid in a John Cena shirt but in my defense, i couldn't see him"
Next Joke
"Twitter is the ideal medium for people who think of something clever to say five minutes after the opportunity has passed."
"A horse walks into a bar...... A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says ""hey SICCNESS206, put your pants back on"""
"How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope imsosorry:("
"It's cool how when people tell us about their dreams that were the weirdest/most beautiful thing they've ever seen we're like ""UGH BORING"""
"What country has many sugar? sweetzerland"
"Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?"
"Top three perverts that see you when you're sleeping: 1. Santa. 2. God. 3. NSA."
"I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books."
"What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes? The A-Men"