195580
Joke of the Day
"SHOW ME A PHOTO OF YOUR INFANT I WILL SHOW YOU 20 OF MY CAT"
Next Joke
"Me: Want some of my nachos? Coworker: I don't like nachos. Me: Hello 911, what's consider premeditated murder?"
"I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."
"How do you fit four gays on one stool? Flip it upside-down. (sorry in advance)"
"Why did the turtle cross the road? ...to get to the Shell station."
"In a new study women with large asses live longer.........the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives"
"Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C! [ I'm^so^sorry ]"
"Never seen anyone in Nandos or McDonald's pick up an appropriate amount of napkins - you're cleaning up after a burger not a double homicide"
"At 14 I asked my dad about a tattoo. He said ok as long as I got it someplace that doesn't matter. So I got it in Detroit."
"[job interview] You sure you know what it means to be a real estate developer? [i picture myself yelling at a building to try harder] Yes"