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Joke of the Day

"I just read that a veteran policeman has been suspended from his job... after being caught masturbating and smoking weed in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer."

"Wait ... ""El Chapo"" is a Mexican drug lord .... and not the guy who's been stealing our Chapsticks for years ?"

"I saved 15% on car insurance by switching.... The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident"

"Elephant How can you lift an elephant with one hand?"

"I don't believe in anything I can't see, hear or touch, like calories. My thighs, however, are clearly very gullible."

"Guess what I did today.... i 2^3 "

"Narrator: ""Humans are the product of 4.54 billion years of evolution"" [cut to me pressing harder on remote control when batteries are dead]"

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in three's? The sign says ""no trespassing."""

"ooh n aah Q whats the difference between ooh and aah? A About 3 inches."

"What did the clam say when a crab attacked him? Kelp!"