195571
Joke of the Day
"Girls, get your abortions NOW in case the Republicans win"
Next Joke
"I just ate my yogurt with a fork, because I've learned that if it looks like you have your shit together, people ask you to do stuff."
"Are instant noodles male or female? Male. Cause they get ready in a couple of minutes."
"Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."
"How did the captain describe the newborn puppy? son-of-a-b***h..!!!"
"Someone posted an ad claiming she can wax my chest without any pain at all. Sounds nice, but I'm kind of nervous. Do you really think she could pull it off?"
"How do you find a blind man on a nude beach? It ain't hard...."
"I got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level After a few days of wearing it, it asked if I was a tree"
"Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!"
"What do you do when a scientist dies? You barium! ba-dum-tss"