37203

Joke of the Day

"Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!"

"So PSY's song ""Dear American"" includes the lyric ""Kill them all slowly and painfully"" and now I understand what Gangnam Style was all about."

"If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Caitlin ! Caitlin who ? Caitlin you my trainers tonight I'm wearing them !"

"*accidentally walks into women's restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*"

"My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed."

"*knock knock* ""Who's there?"" ""I got up."" ""I got up who?"" ""In that case, the bathroom's over there."""

"A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""We've got a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says: ""You've got a drink named Steve?"""

"My GF said a small penis isn't really a problem for our relationship I still wish she didn't have one though :("

"Level of drunkenness: fed the ATM pizza."