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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bear in the Arctic? Starving."

"Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text."

"There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, and one Superman. So, in answer to your question - probably a bird."

"Sisters are like fat thighs They stick together."

"unicorns are really just weaponized ponies."

"What does Harry Potter say when he walks into a bar? I Expectsum Patronum"

"Why do men scratch their balls? Because they are test-itch-els!"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere."

"Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you!"

"I told my pregnant girl friend that she was as big as a 747. That did not fly."