195429

Joke of the Day

"What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate? ""Ecru, Brute?"""

"Heinz have altered one of their spicier sauces. It's a remustard version."

"WIFE: You overreact to everything! ME: [phones police]"

"How did the dog make gold soup? He put in 24 carrots."

"My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives."

"Thank you all for the Happy Birthday wishes!!! Had a GREAT DAY!!! (didn't read a single one)"

"What to do you call an old dentist? A bit long in the tooth"

"[Riot] ""WHAT DO WE WANT"" *far in the back* PIZZA ROLLS ""No Jim we want freedom"" ""WHAT DO WE WANT"" PIZZA ROLLS ""JIM"" But I'm hungry :("

"I thought I saw a pizza in the sexy underwear ad. ...oops, wrong subliminal"

"i cant get a dog because it will give strangers an excuse to talk to me"