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Joke of the Day
"How is my sex life like a Ferrari? Imported and extremely expensive."
Next Joke
"A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street... when they passed a little boy. The priest leans toward the rabbi and says, ""Lets's fuck him!"" The rabbi asks, ""Out of what?"""
"What can you hear but never see? Everything if you're Stevie Wonder"
"I'm quitting the blueberry only diet. I haven't lost a pound and I'm getting tired of blueberry pancakes, muffins and poptarts every meal."
"NSFW what does a suicide bomber need virgins for i read that suicide bombers get offered a bunch of virgins in heaven but whats a pile of mince meat going to do with them in heaven anyway."
"Sex is so much more with a big penis . . . With a small penis, you're barely scratching the cervix."
"A Tumblr user walks into a DIY store..... A Tumblr user walks into a DIY store and steals one item. He take a fence"
"ME: ""Trick or bear?"" NEIGHBOR: ""Bear?"" ME: ""HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!"" [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains]"
"Hey girl are you a new high efficiency dishwasher because you're so quiet it's hard to tell if you're turned on"
"There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose."